MIA...

Assalamu'alaikum all,

Sorry, I've been missing in action recently because somehow (Subhanallah) my schedule went from being sitting around doing nothing to actually having a pretty packed week.  I had an interesting week with lots of updates!

Everything around us is a learning experience.  My goal is to be able to find my way through the challenges of this life with the deen in my hand and most importantly...my heart.  One thing I read recently in this article (it's amazing...highly suggest you read it) really opened up my eyes.  Your heart needs to be purified constantly.  One of the ways in purifying your heart is by surrounding yourself with people that remind you of the akhira.  Now...where do you find those people?

I had one friend that I met in college.  We both came from very different backgrounds and in terms of being religious...she is definitely far more than I am.  Even though she is younger than me, I always looked up to her and was motivated by her purity and closeness to Islam.  She may not know it...but she is a major reason I've improved and I'm always searching for companions like her.  She is the type of person that gives you her honest opinion and reminds you of what you need to do to get to the akhirah.  Unlike some of my other friends in college, she always gave me advice that was sincere and would help me be successful in this life and the afterlife.

One of my worries when I moved to Dubai was whether I'd be able to find a friend like that here.  Subhanallah, this week I really saw how Allah (swt) made many of my fears go away and answered my du'a.  I didn't even realize how much I wanted it...until I got it this week.  Alhamdulillah.

First off...I found this organization, Al Huda Sisters, that was started by some Western Muslim women getting together to learn about Islam.  They have a wonderful teacher that gives lectures in English.  She teaches tajweed, Arabic, tafseer, hifdh, seerah, etc.  It's amazing!  They have classes every day...talk about dedication.  I missed registration for Arabic classes...so right now I'm attending the other courses twice a week.  I was there for one day and I was blown away with how much I left with.  Best of all, I made a friend.  One thing I love about classes such as these is that it gives you an opportunity to meet people with similar values and lifestyles such as your own.

I also took the time to meet with my old co-worker's sister.  She moved to Dubai from America a few years back.  I was a little worried that we may not hit it off very well because she's a few years older than me and she has three kids, Masha'Allah.  But of course...Allah (swt) knows better.  We actually got along very well.  Since she is a teacher too...we had a lot of things to talk about.  Our professions brought us together.  I also was very happy to see that her family values were similar to my own.  In fact...her overall spending habits and challenges were ones that I was facing, too.  We live far from one another, but I was happy to see both of us were willing to take the time out to see each other.

My husband came home this weekend.  He knew my first few weeks were tough and he told me he was worried about me.  Alhamdulillah, I was happily able to tell him that Insha'Allah things are getting better.  It took me some time to get used to it...but I'm starting to like it here.

International Day

Assalamu'alaikum!

Today I went to my husband's cousins' school for their International Day.  The girls are in the 3rd and 4th grades.  Their school (elementary to high school) was celebrating all of the different countries the student body represented.  It's like Multicultural Day back in the states.  The only thing that I did like better was the students were presented to the parents and other attendees by their country in a parade.  One student would hold a sign of the flag and name of the country while the others would follow behind dressed up in traditional garb...some even carrying traditional weapons, instruments, etc.  I really thought it was beautiful!  In addition, they all had their own national anthem or song that represented their country playing in the background.  The only kids I kind of felt bad for were the ones that were representing their country by themselves or with one other student.  They all seemed very happy, though.

After the parade, we were invited to the stage to watch performances by the students.  A few of the performances had students wearing mini skirts and cropped shirts exposing the bellies of girls.  I know the school isn't particulary an Islamic school...but they do teach Islamic Studies and it is located in the Middle East.  A specific dress code isn't enforced strictly here...but there are signs everywhere asking people to dress modestly.  Of course, there are many people that ignore them, but I think schools should apply similar rules...even during events such as this.  In fact, even in America our schools had rules about the length of skirts, tops that were acceptable, etc. 

I won't get into details about the older girls and their dancing...but I will say that I kind of feel like the innocence of younger girls (around elementary ages) is being stripped away so early.  I couldn't believe some of the moves on these 5-8 year olds.  It really scared me to watch a seven year old with heavy make up...shake her a** and belly dance.  I couldn't even watch!  Even my husband's cousins were trying to look as sexy as they could with their dance moves.  Did I mention that his aunt put blonde highlights in their hair?  What is the world coming to?  No wonder the new generations of tweens and teens have more issues now more than ever before.  Look at the way they are being raised.  It also makes me worried about raising my own children (when I have them, Insha'Allah) when the peer pressure is worse than it has ever been. 

I used to teach at an Islamic school and I remember talking to parents about the changes their kids were going through.  I taught 4th-6th grades.  My eye was especially on those sixth graders.  I can't believe how many parents were aware of the things their kids were doing on facebook, myspace, etc....and how they made it sound like they were helpless.  They felt like they couldn't do anything to stop it or control it...because then the kids talk about all the other parents that allow it. 

I found a great series of parenting posts by Umm Reem on Muslim Matters.  Here is her Author Archives.  One of my favorite posts is about Twilight!  May Allah (swt) help us raise children that are pious, obedient, and righteous.  Ameen.

Mediterranean Roasted Chicken Recipe

Yesterday was the first time I cooked since I've gotten here!  It was great to be back in the kitchen.  I love to cook for others and especially my husband.  He came back yesterday morning and I wanted to make him something special.  I know his favorite cuisine is Lebanese, so I've gone through many sources to learn how to make Lebanese food.  After struggling with Lebanese cook books and random recipes found via google...I finally discovered http://www.dedemed.com/.  She is amazing!  I love her recipes because not only are they written down, but they all come with YouTube videos.  She answers your questions right away and takes you through the entire process.

Last night, I made Mediterranean chicken roast inspired by her recipe with some modifications.  Here is the video to her original recipe, DedeMed Chicken Roast.

Source

(Not my roast chicken but very similar)

Mediterranean Chicken Roast Recipe

Preparation time:  15-20 minutes

Cooking time:  55-60 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 whole chicken
• 1 t salt
• 4 garlic cloves
• 1/2 t seven spices
• 1/2 t coriander
• 3/4 t paprika
• 1/4 t cinnamon
• 1/2-3/4 t black pepper
• 2-4 small potatoes
• 1 onion
• 1-2 lemons
• Olive Oil
• Fresh Rosemary
• Fresh Thyme
• Cooking String

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
2. Wash whole chicken and dry with paper towel.  Place in large bowl to season.  Cut slashes all around the chicken in order to rub spice mixture in.
3. In a mortar & pestle, add salt and garlic.  Crush the garlic.
4. Add all spices to the salt and garlic.  If you do not have fresh rosemary or thyme, you can add around 1/2 t of it dried each.  Also, you can add more salt, garlic, and black pepper based on your taste.  I also add a pinch of cayenne pepper to give it a little kick.  Mix together with a generous amount of olive oil.
5. Evenly rub the spice mixture on the chicken, underneath the skin, and deep into the slashes.  Make sure you can feel an even amount of salt all over the chicken and the chicken is coated with olive oil.
6. Add a few pieces of fresh rosemary and thyme on the chicken, in between the legs, and in the cavity.
7. Take half a lemon and squeeze juice over the chicken.
8. Take the other half and place inside of cavity.
9. Take half of the onion and place inside of cavity.
10. Tie up the chicken legs to keep cavity closed.
11. Chop the other half of the onion into large pieces and place around chicken.
12. Chop the carrots into 1 inch pieces and place around chicken.
13. You can leave the potatoes whole and place around chicken.  I like to slice the potatoes into thick slices and place around the chicken.  A few tips about the potatoes.  Mine came out a little dry.  I think I should have either pre-cooked the potatoes a little or laid out the carrots and potatoes flat onto the pan so the juices from the chicken covered them. 
14. Sprinkle the onions, potatoes, and carrots with some salt and pepper to taste.
15. Place chicken in oven for 15-20 minutes on 450 degrees.
16. After 20 minutes, lower the heat to 400 degrees for a 5 lb. bird and cook for 40 minutes.  If the chicken is less than 5 lbs., take 7 minutes off for each lb.
17. Dede's secret after you roast anything, take it out of the oven and let it sit for 10 minutes before serving in order to keep the juices in.

The chicken was incredibly delicious.  I made toum (a Lebanese garlic paste served with chicken) with it, but my husband said the chicken was so good it didn't need it.  I would serve it with a salad if you want something simple.  If you are serving it to guests, I would add some more sides.  I wish I had taken a picture, but my husband had started digging in by the time I got my camera...next time, Insha'Allah. 

Men and Staring

Assalamu'alaikum all!

I decided to do my grocery for Saturday (hubby's homecoming) today since Friday the grocery shops are packed.  So...I took the long way around my building to the Marina Walk.  The building next to ours is undergoing construction and I wanted to avoid the desi construction workers lingering around.  Anyways, I'm walking behind my building when I notice the other end of the street that I have to cross to enter the Marina Walk (it's like a boardwalk).  I see a bunch of desi construction guys running onto the street from yet another building under construction and they are standing in a line waiting for their bus to arrive.  Crap!  I look across the street to see if  maybe I could cross from where I'm standing, but no...the sidewalk is under construction and totally blocked off from that side.  Crap!  Crap!  Crap!  I start thinking maybe I should just go back home and leave it for another time.  I catch a glimpse of some women walking through.  Okay, if they can do it...then so can I.  I'm fully covered.  I'm a strong independent Muslim woman.

I start walking towards them with my eyes glued to the floor and the most serious look I could muster on my face.  I hear voices quiet down.  Why is it when I pass by they are quiet?!  They begin whispering and telling each other to look.  Why did they not even notice those other women?  It's because they know I am desi.  Ahh...shoot me now!!  I glance up quickly to see if I was right.  Yup, they are all staring like I'm some kind of zoo animal.  My pace quickens along with my heartbeat and I make it to the corner.  Every part of me just wanted to turn around and scream something like, "Be aware of Allah (swt)!  Have some decency!  I am a Muslim sister that you should respect and protect."

The worst part was that on my way home with heavy bags of groceries, there was another set of construction workers standing there.  And this time...there were two lines on each side of the pathway.  I had to walk in between.  It was horrible.

On my path to hijab, one incident that shook me and added to my decision to start was the staring and harrassing.  I remember I was walking to one of my classes in college and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  They were revealing of my body shape.  My hair was hanging loose perfectly and I had light make up on.  I walked by a coffee shop and noticed this guy look at me in a funny way.  The guy literally followed me down the block and began bothering me for my number.  I had to walk up to a campus security officer to get him to stop.  Subhanallah, that same day some other men whistled at me from a car.  It was the first time anything like that ever happened to me.  I'm not some gorgeous girl that turns heads.  It was the weirdest thing.  I had guys here and there stare...which killed me...but never anything like this...and two incidents in one day. 

I just remember the feelings that had overcome me at those moments.  The entire day I felt naked and ashamed.  I wanted a shawl to cover up my body.  I felt violated.  It was the first time I felt like I wanted to protect myself...my beauty.  I wanted it to be appreciated in a respectful manner.  I began to question my own motives for dressing the way I did.  What was I looking for?  I knew it wasn't that.  It was one of those moments that made me realize I wanted a man that appreciated me in an honorable way.

I hope Allah (swt) guides those men that see a Muslim woman and do not know how to respect her.  Her hijab (and I just don't mean headscarf alone...I also mean manners and the rest of one's body) should be a sign for them...a reminder...to be mindful of Allah (swt).  May Allah (swt) have mercy on us.

Family Life

Before my husband left for training, he brought something up that really bothered me.  Quick background:  He has a job at a number one consulting firm, Masha’Allah.  It requires that he travel four days out of the week.  They fly him back on the weekends.  Back to the problem:  He asked me if I would be okay with this kind of lifestyle when we have a family.  Umm my brain started screaming Hell no! and possibly some foul language.  He continued and said that he doesn’t want a 9-5 job that meant he’d be in a static position, unable to move up in his career.  He thinks if he stays with this company long term, he could move up considerably and be very successful. 

I sucked in some air and took a minute to maintain my composure.  I very calmly (I’m quite proud of myself) reminded him of a time last year when he came home from work extremely late and told me he wanted a job with a more balanced home life when we have children, Insha’Allah.  I reminded him of the many times he has shown his dislike of careers that require you to sacrifice your family just to make more money and be successful at something for the sake of this dunya alone.  His response was that I should think about it and we would discuss it again in the future when the time is closer.

See…we have a six year plan (Insha’Allah) and if Allah (swt) wants it can always change.  My husband plans to work for this company for two years, Insha’Allah.  After that, they will pay for his MBA on the condition that he will stay with them for another two years, Insha’Allah.  So that’s 2 years for his MBA and another 2 that he owes the company, Insha’Allah.

Here are my issues with all of this and you are more than welcome to give your input.  The purpose of this post is not to complain about my husband, but to get valuable insight from my fellow Muslims.

1.      While he is traveling, he works until late hours of the night and can’t even hold more than a 5 minute long conversation with me throughout the entire day.

2.      The weekends fly by because he is busy taking care of errands.  On top of that, when he does have any time to relax…he whips out his laptop to tell me he still has some work to do.

3.      Keep in mind numbers one and two…and I’m pretty much a single mom!

4.      My children will not have a strong and close relationship with their super busy father.

The only argument I could see that is plausible is that for a Muslim to advance in a large consulting firm would be a great accomplishment for other Muslims that follow.  The only thing is that I don’t see much of how his job benefits Islam.  Also, another concern is that he doesn’t have time for family, when will he have time to continue increasing his iman and Islamic knowledge.  I wouldn’t mind making so many sacrifices if I knew it was benefitting the Muslim ummah somehow. 

In addition, I’ve always valued family more than anything else.  I decided not to go to law school because I thought a career like that would get in the way with my responsibilities at home.  I would rather live in a simple manner just to have my entire family (including my husband) eat dinner together every night.  I always imagined this scenario.  The kids come home from school, do their homework, review Qur’an, etc.  By the time my husband gets home, dinner will be on the table and we sit as a family to eat together and talk.  I always imagined our evenings ending with an Islamic chat or some small family activity.  My husband and I tuck in our kids at night and then spend alone time relaxing together.  I know I can’t have everything…but I’d like to try to have at least that.

Moving In

I’m surrounded by boxes and packing paper.  My clothes and my husband’s clothes are scattered all throughout the living room and bedroom…patiently waiting to be put in their places.  Other random things…books, hair dryer, kitchen utensils, etc. are in a similar situation.   Regardless of the mess, I’m incredibly ecstatic.

Back in America, a moving company was hired by my husband’s new employer to pack every little thing.  All I had to pack were the necessary clothes and other items that we would need on our immediate arrival prior to the shipment.  I didn’t touch a thing.  In fact, it took me around two hours to pack my things and my husband’s to move all the way across the world. 

Another moving company was hired here in Dubai by my husband’s company to unpack all of it.  My beloved husband (I really do love him with his quirks and all) had this crazy idea (and I think I’m crazier for having conceded)…he wanted the movers to unpack only the big things…and leave the rest for us to do since we weren’t sure where we wanted everything just yet.  Doesn’t sound too insane at first…but unpacking all the things you’ve collected over the course of 3 years...it’s a lot.  I can’t imagine what others who have houses do when they move….all I had was a one bedroom apartment. 

Where is my husband?  In South Africa for training.  Where am I?  In the apartment.  Doing what you may ask?  Putting everything away.  I have been lifting boxes, unpacking things, making the difficult decision of where to put them…and I am absolutely exhausted!  I feel like I’ve had the most intensive but excellent work out ever.  The one that really makes you feel like your body is healthy and strong.  I really don’t mind that I’m doing it all on my own, either.  I’m pretty sure if my husband was here…we’d have a ten minute discussion on where to put each thing.  I’m just going to set everything the way I see fit (since I’m the one that’s going to be using this apartment the most)…and if he doesn’t like it…we can move it around later. 

Now I truly understand what it really is like to move your life hundreds of miles.  I remember how excited I was to have this opportunity to live in another country and travel.  Since I’ve been here…I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t as psyched as I thought I was going to be.  My husband even told me (for the first time last night) that he’s noticed and he’s sure everyone else has noticed as well…since we’ve been here I have had this attitude he could only describe as blah.  After he said that...I couldn’t have agreed more!  That’s exactly how I felt.  It’s because up until just yesterday…I was a guest in someone’s house and I wasn’t doing anything that you normally do to make yourself feel at home.  I didn’t have “my home” until today and now the excitement and thrill of being all the way across the world is hitting me.  What’s funny is that even though I have hours of work ahead of me…at this moment…I feel energized and awake, Alhamdulillah.

I’ve come to two other realizations.  The first is that as much as I may have enjoyed watching the men do everything for me…I really like to do things for myself.  Even at my husband’s aunt’s house they had a servant…and I felt horrible when she’d do things for me…so I just would ask her where everything was and do it myself.  I could tell she totally appreciated it…since she’s overworked completely.  The second thing I realized is that I need to get a job.  I need that feeling of accomplishment…and as much as I thought I was done with working…I know now that I am not.  There’s a teacher in town looking for a job J.

Chicken Makhni...True Love

Assalamu'alaikum all!

Alhamdulillah, it's funny how food can turn your mood around.  Last night, my husband knew something was wrong...but I didn't want to make an issue out of it so I just played it off.  Up until this morning...he was still insisting I tell him what was bothering me.  I know he's stressed out with the new job and working hard...I didn't want to burden him any further with my issues.  So today...I didn't hold any high expectations.

The majority of my day was pretty much a waste.  I caught up on some of my fave shows.  It's so hard for me to give up TV.  I've definitely cut down a lot since before, but I know I need to start cutting more out.  The only beneficial thing I got out of my day was reviewing some Surahs I've memorized and re-memorizing Surah At Tariq...that I completely mixed up with other ayaats.  This was by and far the best part of my day because it just reminded me of the beauty of the Qur'an.  I also read some great notes on the tafsir of Surah At Tariq.  Here are the links:

http://www.ilmfruits.com/tafseer-surah-tariq-you-will-be-recreated/

http://forums.islamicawakening.com/f43/surah-tariq-tafsir-dream-notes-nouman-ali-khan-30202/

Both links are terrific and I highly recommend you have a read.  I especially like the second one because it highlights the important Arabic words...why they were used.  Best of all, it connects the Surah to other ones and gives you an overall layout of how they are linked. 

Later on during the day, I skyped with my cousin for a little bit...and then I went down to the gym in the building.  I wish I had a burkini so I could go swimming in the pool.  It's around $130 here in Bahrain, but I don't like the ones they are selling.  I saw some really good ones that are on American websites.  I'm going to go back to Dubai and look for them over there.  Anyways, I was on the elliptical machine for 20 minutes.  I set the effort level to 5/12.  It was pretty tough for me...especially because I'm a petite person that barely ever gets involved in any physical activity.  I just gained a little weight that has been putting some extra fat in the tummy area and in my face.  I want to get rid of it.  Even a little bit extra weight on a petite person makes a big difference.  I'm going to go back tomorrow to do this thing called a rower.  My husband says its a total body work out.  It's a machine that mimics the act of "rowing" which helps you work out your legs, arms, etc.

Anyways...let me get to the highlight of my evening...chicken makhni (pictured below in coincidentally the same exact bowl mine came in).  If you don't know what it is...it's a South Asian dish translated as Buttered Chicken.  I absolutely love it!  In my opinion, it's really hard to find good Chicken Makhni.  The best I've ever had is at a restaurant called Bukhara Grill in NYC.  I ordered in-room dining here at the hotel...I'm not sure if I was starving (food always tastes better then) or if it was actually good....but I loved every bite of it.  To continue making my work-out today absolutely unnecessary...I had a coke, too!  Oh, how I love thee soda.  That wonderful meal was combined with the movie The Tourist with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.  It was a silly movie...but I like Johnny Depp...so I didn't mind too much.

Insha'Allah, tomorrow night I go back to Dubai.  Just two more nights at my husband's aunt's house and Insha'Allah I will be in my own apartment.  The one thing I want to do the most is cook!  Also...my husband's company shippied all of our belongings and furniture from America to Dubai on a ship...all that arrives this Saturday!  I'm looking foward to that, Insha'Allah.