Friendship You Can Never Get Back

Assalamu'alaikum,

Today I got an e-mail from one of my childhood friends.  There were times we grew apart, times we were convinced we'd kill each other, times we lost touch, and times we were inseparable.  Yet in some weird way, we were always best of friends.  We always knew we could call each other even if we hadn't called for months.  I have four or five friendships that fall under this category and we kind of have our own little group.  I like to call them my sisters...and not to be corny...but really because we have the love and bond of sisters and at the same time we can also tear each others hair out like sisters.  The group expanded as we moved away from one another and branched out into our own lives.  Parts of it broke off from silly teenage drama.  Nonetheless, the core group of friends always remained intact. 

Anyways, there was one thing she said that seemed out of place and stood out from the rest of the e-mail.  It was something that we all knew but never really talked about.  She wrote, "We always clicked...I have never made a friend like you anywhere else."  I also know that includes the rest of the girls...not just me...but being thousands of miles away from them...it really hit home.

We met around the time when I was in Pre-K.  We started off in the same town and gradually our parents took us our separate ways.  We went to completely different high schools and colleges far apart.  We grew up to become unique people with few similarities.  Somehow through Allah (swt) and technology (AIM)...we managed to make it through all that.  We made tons of freinds...lost most of them...and we always ended back together.  It almost sounds like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...except it was different in a way.

After marriage, I felt a distance form between all of us that I really thought this time it was it.  We wouldn't be able to go back to normal.  Heck...one of the girls turned Shia(not that I have anything against them...she just separated herself a little more b/c of it), the second one hated that I married an Arab, the third one married someone who took her away to lala land, and the fourth one just hated that we were all married and she wasn't.  Adding to all that...I moved across the world.

Surprisingly...Allah (swt) showed us a different plan.  I talk to them more now...than I did when I first got married.  All the other people that I thought I had grown so close to...people that I thought understood me in ways that my original group couldn't...they were the ones that let that distance separate us.  My sisters were the ones that bought webcams so we could skype, that e-mail me, that take the time out to look at all my pictures and comment on each one.  They are the ones that calculate the time difference...and wait for me to talk.  I love them and I never want to lose what I have with them...and I am so glad that we didn't let all the things working against us separate us.  I have tried so hard to make friends like that wherever I go...and I have never been able to form bonds like the one me and my sisters have.

So if you have a friend like that and there may be some distance creeping up between the two of you...crush it now...and don't let it grow.  There are some friendships that you can never replace.

Sigh of Relief

Source:  http://gurumia.com/2010/04/15/a-lesson-from-islam-alhamdulillah/

On Wednesday, I got very ill and was vomitting throughout the day.  My stomach wasn't able to keep anything down.  Throughout the night I was tossing and turning from hunger, but still I was too nauseous to eat anything.  My head was also spinning from the lack of food.  On Thursday, I was well enough to start eating a little bit...still suffering from a massive headache.  Alhamdulillah, Friday...things started looking a lot better.

I've been staying with my husband's aunt and we're very lucky to have somewhere to stay while our residency paper work is being done, Alhamdulillah.  I'm truly grateful for it, but I am ready to leave.  My husband and I both agree that we can only take staying with family in small doses.  This summer we went to visit his uncle and we were ready to go after about three days.  I think it may be because they are very different from us.  Most of his family (and mine for that matter) isn't very religious and from a social perspective we have a hard time finding common ground.  For the most part...touring and eating out is good enough, but after that it gets a little difficult to find environments that make us comfortable and that make them comfortable.  For example...we can't sit in their living room with them when they have the television on.  They watch things that involve permiscuity, foul language, etc.  It's hard for us to sit there and enjoy the conversation with that in our faces.  We have tried, though, to invite them to the masjid and on Friday to read Suratul Kahf with their kids...but at the same time we don't want to be too pushy either.

Nonetheless, it's good to have family here, Alhamdulillah.  I'm realizing now how important it is to know someone in foreign countries to help you adjust.  It makes the biggest difference.  They really have helped us understand the dynamics of Dubai, the politics, and the nitty gritty that you can't find online or in tourist pamphlets. 

On another note, I've also come to love skype.  I've been chatting with my cousins back home more than I used to talk to them while I was there.  I also got to talk to my uncle's wife and kids who live in Jeddah, Saudia Arabia.  Back home...I barely ever got to speak to them.  I knew it existed, but I guess I never felt the need for it since I was surrounded by the most part by family and friends.  I've also come to another realization - the importance of staying in touch with everyone.  I know we are all busy with work, school, and children...but really that's not an excuse.  You never know what can happen and you regret later on that you didn't go to visit that person...you didn't call this person.  Every day I think of someone I should have called or visited before I left.  Alhamdulillah.  Lesson learned.  I will do everything now to try to stay in touch through e-mail, skype, phone, and other forms of communication.  Another thing to be so grateful of...the many different forms of communication, Alhamdulillah!

Anyways, my husband is leaving for Bahrain tomorrow.  He's still supposed to be in training this week, but they put him on a project about education in Bahrain.  It's pretty cool.  My field...so I'm excited to see what he has to work on.  He's going to be gone for the next three days.  I'm okay with it right now, Insha'Allah, I remain patient while he's gone.  It's going to be difficult because this job will require him to travel for four days of the week.  The cool thing is that his company is doing a retreat in May to Ethiopia and spouses are invited.  He also got permission to fly me to the locations that he will be staying long term, rather than them flying him back every weekend.  In ten months, he will be going to Austria and he wants to take me out there with him.  Insha'Allah, it'll be delightful!

I don't know if you've noticed...but I feel as if my style of speaking (or writing shall I say) is being influenced by the British.  His cousins (8-9 years old) go to an international school that uses British english.  We keep making fun of the way they talk (lovingly of course...we love British accents).  I'm beginning to pick it up without thinking now, too.  For example...they don't like when I say throwing up...it's too "vulgar" for them.  They'd rather I say vomitting.  Haha.

Anyways....I'm off for now!