Assalamu'alaikum,
These past few weeks I have been on a spiritual high that has made me content with my life, overall, Alhamdulillah. It has been easier to deal with the difficulties in my life and a kind of calm has replaced the worrying and negative thoughts, Alhamdulillah. Of course, this new found patience was to be tested.
About four days ago, I attended a lecture on good manners and good character in Islam. It was an inspiring and humbling experience. For two hours, I was writing furiously to catch every word in order to capture the beauty of the stories and the lessons. Afterwards, I sat for hours typing up my notes. I searched for each hadith that was mentioned and I found each ayah with the translation. Alhamdullilah, it was a task I truly enjoyed because I was able to take out time to appreciate the ahadith and ayaat on this topic. I wrote back home to all of my friends and family about the organization that gives these amazing lectures and how it has helped me settle into my new life here. I can never put into words what these classes have truly done for me. I thought sending my friends and family these notes would be a great way to show them what I get to experience on a daily basis. I thought it would be a wonderful reminder and a gift of knowledge.
I sent it to all of my friends and family. I usually send out forwards in BCC, in order to make sure I don't share people's e-mail addresses with others. Alhamdulillah, while my husband and I were out to dinner he received an e-mail from his mother. It was in response to my e-mail and was sent to the both of us and read, "Make sure you read it properly yourselves!!!!" That was all she wrote. Since we have moved here about five months ago, she has not responded to one of our e-mails, she has not picked up any of our calls, nor has she ever tried to return the calls. Alhamdulillah. Through these classes, I was able to resolve many issues and the pain that I felt about our strained relationship with her.
Well, my husband gave me an angry glare making me feel as if I had done something to make matters worse between them. Alhamdulillah, he came to his senses and realized his mother misunderstood. She thought I sent the e-mail to her alone...trying to send an indirect message. Subhanallah. Such a simple action meant to do good can be twisted in such a way. I was sorry that she felt the way she did, but I also was shocked that she would think I was that kind of person. I have never done anything to make her think that I could be so disrespectful or rude. My husband saw how upset I was and he asked me to stay out of it. He e-mailed her a short response letting her know I had sent it to everyone and it was a misunderstanding. The next day, I wrote an e-mail out to all of the recipients of the original email, including his mother. I mentioned that I wanted to add where the notes came from, my intentions for sharing them, and why I BCC'd it. It was a general note that I thought would help her see that I sent it out to a bunch of people with the intention of spreading knowledge and as a reminder for us all.
Last night, my husband having just gotten off his flight to his next destination for work....received another e-mail. I guess this one was more aggressive and as he said "nasty"...but of course...he would not share it with me. Surprisingly, she did not include me on this one. I figured he didn't want to make me more upset and emotional by seeing the flowery things his mother must have written about me. All in all, he just told me that she does not believe I sent it to everyone else and he would like me to take a screen shot of my original e-mail to prove my innocence to her. I found it so incredibly childish and disrespectful.
First, she accuses me of sending indirect messages as if I'm an evil human being! Does she not think that I fear Allah (swt)? Does she really think I could be such an awful person...that I would use the lessons from Islam and the words of Allah (swt) in such a way? And now...she is accusing me of being a liar! It upset me that I had to go through such lengths to prove myself.
Nonetheless, I told myself to be patient, I took the screen shot, and sent it to him for it to be sent to his mother. I told him that I would always be kind and gracious to his mother, despite the way she is treating me. However, Allah (swt) knows best my intentions and after this I am done with this conversation. What I did...I did for Allah (swt) and for the reward associated with spreading His (swt) knowledge. I do not have to prove myself to anyone but Allah (swt). I will not subject myself to more disrespect and allow her to make me feel like I have done something wrong. These are her own issues and her own negative thoughts she will have to deal with. I have given her the proof and there is no more that I can do. And with that...I went to bed.
I was initially so upset with what happened, but Alhamdulillah I have come to realize that she has burned many bridges with others in the past. It is not me...it is her. Do you guys think I can do anything else to ease the situation?
These past few weeks I have been on a spiritual high that has made me content with my life, overall, Alhamdulillah. It has been easier to deal with the difficulties in my life and a kind of calm has replaced the worrying and negative thoughts, Alhamdulillah. Of course, this new found patience was to be tested.
About four days ago, I attended a lecture on good manners and good character in Islam. It was an inspiring and humbling experience. For two hours, I was writing furiously to catch every word in order to capture the beauty of the stories and the lessons. Afterwards, I sat for hours typing up my notes. I searched for each hadith that was mentioned and I found each ayah with the translation. Alhamdullilah, it was a task I truly enjoyed because I was able to take out time to appreciate the ahadith and ayaat on this topic. I wrote back home to all of my friends and family about the organization that gives these amazing lectures and how it has helped me settle into my new life here. I can never put into words what these classes have truly done for me. I thought sending my friends and family these notes would be a great way to show them what I get to experience on a daily basis. I thought it would be a wonderful reminder and a gift of knowledge.
I sent it to all of my friends and family. I usually send out forwards in BCC, in order to make sure I don't share people's e-mail addresses with others. Alhamdulillah, while my husband and I were out to dinner he received an e-mail from his mother. It was in response to my e-mail and was sent to the both of us and read, "Make sure you read it properly yourselves!!!!" That was all she wrote. Since we have moved here about five months ago, she has not responded to one of our e-mails, she has not picked up any of our calls, nor has she ever tried to return the calls. Alhamdulillah. Through these classes, I was able to resolve many issues and the pain that I felt about our strained relationship with her.
Well, my husband gave me an angry glare making me feel as if I had done something to make matters worse between them. Alhamdulillah, he came to his senses and realized his mother misunderstood. She thought I sent the e-mail to her alone...trying to send an indirect message. Subhanallah. Such a simple action meant to do good can be twisted in such a way. I was sorry that she felt the way she did, but I also was shocked that she would think I was that kind of person. I have never done anything to make her think that I could be so disrespectful or rude. My husband saw how upset I was and he asked me to stay out of it. He e-mailed her a short response letting her know I had sent it to everyone and it was a misunderstanding. The next day, I wrote an e-mail out to all of the recipients of the original email, including his mother. I mentioned that I wanted to add where the notes came from, my intentions for sharing them, and why I BCC'd it. It was a general note that I thought would help her see that I sent it out to a bunch of people with the intention of spreading knowledge and as a reminder for us all.
Last night, my husband having just gotten off his flight to his next destination for work....received another e-mail. I guess this one was more aggressive and as he said "nasty"...but of course...he would not share it with me. Surprisingly, she did not include me on this one. I figured he didn't want to make me more upset and emotional by seeing the flowery things his mother must have written about me. All in all, he just told me that she does not believe I sent it to everyone else and he would like me to take a screen shot of my original e-mail to prove my innocence to her. I found it so incredibly childish and disrespectful.
First, she accuses me of sending indirect messages as if I'm an evil human being! Does she not think that I fear Allah (swt)? Does she really think I could be such an awful person...that I would use the lessons from Islam and the words of Allah (swt) in such a way? And now...she is accusing me of being a liar! It upset me that I had to go through such lengths to prove myself.
Nonetheless, I told myself to be patient, I took the screen shot, and sent it to him for it to be sent to his mother. I told him that I would always be kind and gracious to his mother, despite the way she is treating me. However, Allah (swt) knows best my intentions and after this I am done with this conversation. What I did...I did for Allah (swt) and for the reward associated with spreading His (swt) knowledge. I do not have to prove myself to anyone but Allah (swt). I will not subject myself to more disrespect and allow her to make me feel like I have done something wrong. These are her own issues and her own negative thoughts she will have to deal with. I have given her the proof and there is no more that I can do. And with that...I went to bed.
I was initially so upset with what happened, but Alhamdulillah I have come to realize that she has burned many bridges with others in the past. It is not me...it is her. Do you guys think I can do anything else to ease the situation?
