Assalamu'alaikum all!
I decided to do my grocery for Saturday (hubby's homecoming) today since Friday the grocery shops are packed. So...I took the long way around my building to the Marina Walk. The building next to ours is undergoing construction and I wanted to avoid the desi construction workers lingering around. Anyways, I'm walking behind my building when I notice the other end of the street that I have to cross to enter the Marina Walk (it's like a boardwalk). I see a bunch of desi construction guys running onto the street from yet another building under construction and they are standing in a line waiting for their bus to arrive. Crap! I look across the street to see if maybe I could cross from where I'm standing, but no...the sidewalk is under construction and totally blocked off from that side. Crap! Crap! Crap! I start thinking maybe I should just go back home and leave it for another time. I catch a glimpse of some women walking through. Okay, if they can do it...then so can I. I'm fully covered. I'm a strong independent Muslim woman.
I start walking towards them with my eyes glued to the floor and the most serious look I could muster on my face. I hear voices quiet down. Why is it when I pass by they are quiet?! They begin whispering and telling each other to look. Why did they not even notice those other women? It's because they know I am desi. Ahh...shoot me now!! I glance up quickly to see if I was right. Yup, they are all staring like I'm some kind of zoo animal. My pace quickens along with my heartbeat and I make it to the corner. Every part of me just wanted to turn around and scream something like, "Be aware of Allah (swt)! Have some decency! I am a Muslim sister that you should respect and protect."
The worst part was that on my way home with heavy bags of groceries, there was another set of construction workers standing there. And this time...there were two lines on each side of the pathway. I had to walk in between. It was horrible.
On my path to hijab, one incident that shook me and added to my decision to start was the staring and harrassing. I remember I was walking to one of my classes in college and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. They were revealing of my body shape. My hair was hanging loose perfectly and I had light make up on. I walked by a coffee shop and noticed this guy look at me in a funny way. The guy literally followed me down the block and began bothering me for my number. I had to walk up to a campus security officer to get him to stop. Subhanallah, that same day some other men whistled at me from a car. It was the first time anything like that ever happened to me. I'm not some gorgeous girl that turns heads. It was the weirdest thing. I had guys here and there stare...which killed me...but never anything like this...and two incidents in one day.
I just remember the feelings that had overcome me at those moments. The entire day I felt naked and ashamed. I wanted a shawl to cover up my body. I felt violated. It was the first time I felt like I wanted to protect myself...my beauty. I wanted it to be appreciated in a respectful manner. I began to question my own motives for dressing the way I did. What was I looking for? I knew it wasn't that. It was one of those moments that made me realize I wanted a man that appreciated me in an honorable way.
I hope Allah (swt) guides those men that see a Muslim woman and do not know how to respect her. Her hijab (and I just don't mean headscarf alone...I also mean manners and the rest of one's body) should be a sign for them...a reminder...to be mindful of Allah (swt). May Allah (swt) have mercy on us.
I decided to do my grocery for Saturday (hubby's homecoming) today since Friday the grocery shops are packed. So...I took the long way around my building to the Marina Walk. The building next to ours is undergoing construction and I wanted to avoid the desi construction workers lingering around. Anyways, I'm walking behind my building when I notice the other end of the street that I have to cross to enter the Marina Walk (it's like a boardwalk). I see a bunch of desi construction guys running onto the street from yet another building under construction and they are standing in a line waiting for their bus to arrive. Crap! I look across the street to see if maybe I could cross from where I'm standing, but no...the sidewalk is under construction and totally blocked off from that side. Crap! Crap! Crap! I start thinking maybe I should just go back home and leave it for another time. I catch a glimpse of some women walking through. Okay, if they can do it...then so can I. I'm fully covered. I'm a strong independent Muslim woman.
I start walking towards them with my eyes glued to the floor and the most serious look I could muster on my face. I hear voices quiet down. Why is it when I pass by they are quiet?! They begin whispering and telling each other to look. Why did they not even notice those other women? It's because they know I am desi. Ahh...shoot me now!! I glance up quickly to see if I was right. Yup, they are all staring like I'm some kind of zoo animal. My pace quickens along with my heartbeat and I make it to the corner. Every part of me just wanted to turn around and scream something like, "Be aware of Allah (swt)! Have some decency! I am a Muslim sister that you should respect and protect."
The worst part was that on my way home with heavy bags of groceries, there was another set of construction workers standing there. And this time...there were two lines on each side of the pathway. I had to walk in between. It was horrible.
On my path to hijab, one incident that shook me and added to my decision to start was the staring and harrassing. I remember I was walking to one of my classes in college and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. They were revealing of my body shape. My hair was hanging loose perfectly and I had light make up on. I walked by a coffee shop and noticed this guy look at me in a funny way. The guy literally followed me down the block and began bothering me for my number. I had to walk up to a campus security officer to get him to stop. Subhanallah, that same day some other men whistled at me from a car. It was the first time anything like that ever happened to me. I'm not some gorgeous girl that turns heads. It was the weirdest thing. I had guys here and there stare...which killed me...but never anything like this...and two incidents in one day.
I just remember the feelings that had overcome me at those moments. The entire day I felt naked and ashamed. I wanted a shawl to cover up my body. I felt violated. It was the first time I felt like I wanted to protect myself...my beauty. I wanted it to be appreciated in a respectful manner. I began to question my own motives for dressing the way I did. What was I looking for? I knew it wasn't that. It was one of those moments that made me realize I wanted a man that appreciated me in an honorable way.
I hope Allah (swt) guides those men that see a Muslim woman and do not know how to respect her. Her hijab (and I just don't mean headscarf alone...I also mean manners and the rest of one's body) should be a sign for them...a reminder...to be mindful of Allah (swt). May Allah (swt) have mercy on us.
Im sorry sister you had to experience this. Whenever I find myself in an akward situation i usually hold my breath or I just smile and greet the creapster. That usually catches them off guard and then they mind their own business.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone practices their Islam the way we would like it so one of your options would be just to try to walk with more confidence. Do not let them get to you, think of something to keep your mind busy when you go past. I say a silent f you in my head and just go on by. Men feel more powerful when they are in groups for some reason
Men are creeps...I am so shocked when Muslim men stare or make remarks when they see a Muslimah wearing hijab or pushing a stroller, lol. Umm Sou Sou is so right, these idiots feel better in groups. How pathetic huh?
ReplyDeleteI am very sorry...I hate that we can go out into the world as women who are brave and come back feeling less about ourselves because people cross barriers that they should not.
Salam sis...I hope you feel better.
Could not agree any more with you however it seems that there is more curiosity attached to a woman that is covered up (from the opposite sex that is). Strangely enough you would think that would be a reason to lower their gaze but not so, these days. All we can do is ignore it, lower our gaze and proceed about our day. Their sin for them alone.
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