since I've last posted. The big move to Dubai is coming up and there's a lot to do with very little time left. I'm going through some bittersweet moods. I'm excited about the move, but I have to be honest...I'm pretty scared. I'm not sure what to expect. I know my husband will be working a lot more and I know I'd like to take Arabic/Islamic Studies classes. I'm not sure how this is all going to come into play, but Insha'allah, it all works out for the best.
There have been many other developments in my life other than the move. Recently, I've had to deal with something that has been very difficult. I know I'm being tested by Allah (swt). There are so many nice things happening in my life, but I'm realizing none of it matters in the face of other things. I don't want to write about what happened because you never really know who reads this, but it was something that hurt me a lot. I can't discuss it with anyone, even my closest friends. It's embarrassing and I don't need other people to make me feel worse than I already do. I didn't do anything, it was something done to me. Nonetheless, it's difficult to talk about. What I do want to say is that it's quite amazing how something can seem one way and turn out to be something very different, Subhanallah.
I do want to talk about my feelings, though. I feel sad and lonely at times. On the other hand, I find myself smiling and laughing in the presence of good company. I just wish at the end of the day I could come home and not have to think about the things that make me feel sad and lonely. I feel disconnected from salah and daily Islamic activities, in general. Every time I try to fast, I find a reason to break it. Granted, I have been very sick the past two weeks and I'm left with little choice. I think I'm just overwhelmed with all the things going on around me.
I pray, Insha'Allah, things get better after we move.
La ba'sa tahoorun inshallah, La ba'sa tahoorun inshallah
ReplyDeleteAnd Allah knows best. Be strong as your post comes across and surely Allah rewards the As-sabirun, Inshallah.
Good luck to the move to Dubai:)
Assalaam Alaikum sister Sabirah,
ReplyDeleteMay Allah (SWT) make any difficulties you're going through easier for you, and grant you patience, Ameen. Verily Allah (SWT) is with those who patiently persevere. And always remember that you are never alone no matter how lonely you feel (we all have such moments, even if they may be fleeting), Allah (SWT) is always with you. =)
All the best with the move to Dubai! Keep up your spirits. Maybe Allah has something big planned for you.
awwwww, sis, sorry to hear that you feel sad and lonely and that 'something happened to you' that makes you feel embarrassed. BUT if you didn't do anything, you shouldn't feel embarassed. Something done to you means you were a VICTIM of something....
ReplyDeleteANYWAYS, I used to live in Sharjah (another emirate- next to dubai). It's pretty nice, but I do think that when you are in the UAE, you are sorta in your own little bubble. It's hard to explain. HOWEVER, I hope you'll find it very nice, inshaAllah and your move will go smoothly, inshaAllah.
May Allah make things easier for you,
salam sister,
ReplyDeleteindeed after every hardship there is easy! hope you feel better soon. If you just wanna talk to a sister, im here. Let me know if you wanna talk privately via email, phone, chat or whatever! :)
Take care
wa'salam
Thank you so much for all the sincere replies. Yeh, it was something done to me by someone very beloved. Alhamdulillah, though, we're picking up the pieces and trying to move on from it. Thank you for your du'a and kind words.
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