for no good reason! I just got lazy and didn't feel like I had something new and interesting to add to the blog. Today, I was just thinking about an old friend of mine. I received an e-mail from this friend that shocked me a few months ago.
There was a time me and this friend were incredibly close. We both kind of found our love for Islam together after some difficult times in our lives. It was our passionate debates and discussions on Islam that really opened up my eyes about the dichotomy of what my heart believed and the way I lived my life. I thought she was on the same page as me...but I realized soon after I was moving a lot faster than she was. She would share her difficulties in trying to become a better Muslim and the challenges she was facing. I wanted her to know that I was there every step of the way, I wasn't trying to pressure her, and to take it one day at a time. She valued my opinions and would strongly consider them when making important decisions. I was able to convince her to apply to school and finish her bachelor's degree and try to bring Islam back into her life. After I got married, we lost touch. I tried my best to reach out to her, but she didn't really respond. She lived on the other side of the U.S., so it really made it difficult to get into touch with her.
About six months ago, I received an e-mail from her that shocked me. She had sent out a mass e-mail to all of her contacts about a new website she started. When I saw it, my heart dropped and I felt a sense of failure in a weird way. I went to the website to find that she had finished her college degree and rather than setting out to find a job, she went back to the career before we had met...music. It was a horrible and disgusting lifestyle...and it killed me to now she would go back to that. I went to the site, listened to the music, and just felt even more disappointment. I don't know...maybe if I heard songs that may have been more meaningful...I would feel better. However, the songs were the pop garbage that is out today about meeting someone at the club and dancing. Another song was about being famous and rich. It really surprised me and I felt like I lost someone. I really don't know how to explain it. I had heard her songs from before we met. At least they were filled with emotions and life lessons. They were meaningful and deep. These new songs were just duplicates of what is already out there. Of course, I would never want her to go back to music in the first place...but I just found her lyrics to these new songs showed me a completely different person. A person I never imagined she wanted to be. A person she used to mock. And then I started to think...the lengths people may go to to become famous and rich. Maybe...I was blind to it...and this was what she really wanted from her life. Most of all, the pictures she has posted at clubs and the way she looks...it only filled my heart with sadness and fear. I feel saddened at what can happen to people...and I feel fear and I pray that I never get sucked into these traps.
Every now and then I go back to her website to see what she is up to. Part of me is hoping one day I will go to that site to find that she has shut it down and fixed her life up. I could never bring myself to e-mail her. I didn't know what to say. I just made du'a.
There was a time me and this friend were incredibly close. We both kind of found our love for Islam together after some difficult times in our lives. It was our passionate debates and discussions on Islam that really opened up my eyes about the dichotomy of what my heart believed and the way I lived my life. I thought she was on the same page as me...but I realized soon after I was moving a lot faster than she was. She would share her difficulties in trying to become a better Muslim and the challenges she was facing. I wanted her to know that I was there every step of the way, I wasn't trying to pressure her, and to take it one day at a time. She valued my opinions and would strongly consider them when making important decisions. I was able to convince her to apply to school and finish her bachelor's degree and try to bring Islam back into her life. After I got married, we lost touch. I tried my best to reach out to her, but she didn't really respond. She lived on the other side of the U.S., so it really made it difficult to get into touch with her.
About six months ago, I received an e-mail from her that shocked me. She had sent out a mass e-mail to all of her contacts about a new website she started. When I saw it, my heart dropped and I felt a sense of failure in a weird way. I went to the website to find that she had finished her college degree and rather than setting out to find a job, she went back to the career before we had met...music. It was a horrible and disgusting lifestyle...and it killed me to now she would go back to that. I went to the site, listened to the music, and just felt even more disappointment. I don't know...maybe if I heard songs that may have been more meaningful...I would feel better. However, the songs were the pop garbage that is out today about meeting someone at the club and dancing. Another song was about being famous and rich. It really surprised me and I felt like I lost someone. I really don't know how to explain it. I had heard her songs from before we met. At least they were filled with emotions and life lessons. They were meaningful and deep. These new songs were just duplicates of what is already out there. Of course, I would never want her to go back to music in the first place...but I just found her lyrics to these new songs showed me a completely different person. A person I never imagined she wanted to be. A person she used to mock. And then I started to think...the lengths people may go to to become famous and rich. Maybe...I was blind to it...and this was what she really wanted from her life. Most of all, the pictures she has posted at clubs and the way she looks...it only filled my heart with sadness and fear. I feel saddened at what can happen to people...and I feel fear and I pray that I never get sucked into these traps.
Every now and then I go back to her website to see what she is up to. Part of me is hoping one day I will go to that site to find that she has shut it down and fixed her life up. I could never bring myself to e-mail her. I didn't know what to say. I just made du'a.
all the more reason you should e-mail her to let her know that you're there. You cannot blame yourself for not providing enough of support to her because at the end of the day we are each responsible for our ownselves rather see it as perhaps she was not ready and willing in belief as you were so it was easier for her to slip back to what she knew best. Coming back to my first line, all the more reason to mail her now for if she is lost, she can be found again:) Good friends never die, they live in the fondest place of the heart forever!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough situation. I think you should try to contact her / stay in touch -- who knows? Somewhere along the road you may become a source of inspiration for her and a path back onto the road of Islam (i'A), even if it seems impossible now.
ReplyDeleteOf course, it's easier said than done. Making du'aa for her then would probably be the best solution possible.